Dark days bring dark thoughts and dark thoughts melt into dark words. Enjoy!
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
forgive me for what I am and what I did
wanting all but nothing to give
I've caused so damage to others and me
Forgive me father, for I lost my trust
believe to nothing and always doubt
fallacy hides in every word and every line
I see only lies, they circle me like swarm
faith to humanity is lost and now I trust none
Forgive me father, for what I am
the face is changing, my eyes turn black
and from my eyes and mouth I bleed tar
you will get dirty, please stand back
despicable it is what I turn at night
while fondling a dead skull, my lucky charm
Forgive me father, for I live in hate
looking for handles, for someone to break
and if they stare at me I will speak a curse
I always worked to create a plague
brewing poisons and then serve
Forgive me father, for my vile thoughts
maliciousness infesting my every word
believe me, I've written down plenty of those
my head is infested needs to be cut off
Forgive me father, cause I don't afraid
I don't value life and pray for death
life is a meaningless walk, nothing to gain
no hope for afterlife, the death is the end
and the worms of the ground will savour my flesh
Oh father, you left me behind
you brought me to earth and then returned
in your fiery sanctuary where you can hide
but here I am and I will wait for the time
when I can fulfill your great second plan
I need you father
I kneel before you helpless
I ask for your guidance
but more than that grand me forgiveness
Mon 15 Feb 10 - AnKi Engine: The first media exposure, video and help needed
I've been a subscriber at Phoronix.com for quite some time. Among other things Phoronix.com its a great source for Linux graphics related news and these kind of news are very useful when you develop a 3D engine in Linux. Phoronix.com also develops a Linux benchmarking tool so two days ago I took the liberty to send them an email and ask them of weather or not they are interested in including a demo, made using AnKi, in their Phoronix Test Suite. They've posted a full blown news item instead with quite a few details about the engine despite the fact that my email was very short.
Its really great that AnKi had this kind of exposure even if it is somewhat accidental on my behalf. My sincere thanks to Phoronix.com guys for writing about AnKi, the users of Phoronix and youtube.com for their kind words, every individual who posted about AnKi in their personal or business web page and finally my friends for their emails.
AnKi is a somewhat ambitious project and it cannot be one man's show. The next move is to organize o community to help creating something complete. If you are a software engineer or more importantly an artists and you are interested in making a demo please email me.
Sun 07 Feb 10 - Poetry - Lady of moonlight/Sick passion part II
First of all need to clarify that I'm not a misogynist, on the contrary. I love girls, women, ladies and even grannies. This poem describes a sexual intercourse that ends into a tragedy. Embrace the love and not the violence of any form.
Lady of moonlight/Sick passion Part II
Lady of the moonlight
wearing the veil of night
sitting in the starlight
where you can floodlight
Your smile blinds
Your beauty lasts
made by the creator
to arouse carnal lusts
Gorged by your smell,
charmed by your words,
I want you to fall
into my passion of loss.
To dive into a sea,
a sea full of sin
where the guilt flies at once
and flesh becomes one
Inchoating at dawn sprawled,
soft bed white our vessel unfold.
removing our second flesh
revealing our nudity... the way we're born.
Tight be the arms,
the bodies unite,
this passion presages
a hellish upraise.
Sweat covers the face
and heart beats higher,
voice becomes louder
…to unleash the fire
sacred lust
and glorious act
the angels seduced
are blessing this perpetual love
Lips rising,
falling, shining.
Bodies unite
together coming,
It won't last forever
this magical moment
the end is near
We wait no longer
Lady of the moonlight
it's time to depart
you served me well
me and my lewdly art
The play is over
the pleasure is gone
succeeded by guilt
and shame of man
By the time I feel you
the death I'll bring you
By the time it ends
your soul rests
By the time heart stops
the breath is lost
By the time I get you
beg me to let you
In sexual eruption
your voice becomes scream
the killing tool I rise
and stab you full of vim
Fixed stare my eyes,
bloodstains in my hands
these are the rewards
for the deeds I've done
I'm a purification for you
I'm a monster made to last
I'm enjoying what I do
I'm a shadow stuck to the past
Lady of the moonlight
I will ease your pain
lean in my shoulder
and I'll send you away
Sun 27 Dec 09 - Music - Nokturnal Mortum: The Voice of Steel
There are times when you say that you have heard every tune that exists. You feel that nothing does and will excite you musically anymore. Well sometimes its good to be wrong. Nokturnal Mortum is the definition of the underground band. They dont do much shows, they do not promote their work that much, their lyrics are very difficult to relate to and they sing mostly in Ukrainian. The reason Im writing this lines is the "The Voice of Steel", their latest album. With one word, its... fuckenawesome. The tunes are really catchy, melodic and melancholic embeded with symphonic, Ukrainian folk elements and choirs. This time though the band is experimenting with more melodic themes in contrast to their heavy folk-ish and epic previous works. I believe that the difference with the previous album is more than obvious, but this is a plus because its productive for a band to change, evolve and experiment.
The racist bastards from Ukraine did create a great album as they always do. Every album is better than the previous.
Mon 21 Dec 09 - ISO C++0x: The next revision of C++
C++ is considered one of the most used programming languages out there, it's very fast and, after all these years, mature. All of it's features are essentially a superset of every programming language that exists now days and this gives it almost limitless possibilities but at the same time it makes it very complex. From the last revision of C++ in 1999, new programming needs arose and for that reason a facelifting is imminent after 10 years hiatus. The new ISO standard has a temporary name "C++0x" and at the present time it's being finalized. According to Bjarne Stroustrup (creator of C++ and member of the committee) the compilers will include the new features in a year or more. GCC currently supports some of the C++0x features but not all of them. The new standard adds many new things in the language as well as the STL (C++ Standard Library). Some of my favorites are the following:
auto: Deduction of a type from an initializer. Example: auto x = an_int_vector.begin();
With in-class member initializers we can set default values to class members. Example: class A{ int x = 7; };. With auto we wont have to define the type all the time.
constexpr: Generalized and guaranteed constant expressions. For example this will be valid: const int i = std::numeric_limits::max(); Because the max() returns constexpr.
In unions we can now have (under some circumstances) classes with default constructor.
With delegating constructors we can initialize a constructor by using another constructor. We dont have to write "init" member functions for common initialization.
The changes in STL are far more useful. I'm looking forward for threading library, array container, atomic operations, regular expressions library and the rest of the goodies.
The question still remains. Will this features improve C++ and make our lives easier or they will make C++ more bloated and complex?
